Monday, September 22, 2008

Living Alone...?

There are many different stages in marriage; my husband and I have shared a lot of trials and triumphs, mountains and valleys, highs and lows, times of light and times of shadow. But in the past ten years we have experienced the greatest success so far in our life together, and have found a kind of balance that minimizes stress and increases our sense of cooperation toward the greater good. I'm proud of us, frankly. We have stuck it out and we have survived.

This summer was difficult for us, though. It was so hot, for one thing. And my husband was very, very busy with all his many endeavors (working three or four jobs to make ends meet) and seldom home. I had to get used to being alone most of the time. He would leave the house at a very early hour and not come home again till late at night, or be away on business for days at a stretch. The notations on the family calendar was our only "conversation"--where was he today? I couldn't ask him personally, so I'd check his chicken scratch notes and say a prayer for his safety.

On Saturday evening (9/20) we actually ate supper together. This was our first shared meal (just the two of us) since July 27th, when we went out for lunch to celebrate my birthday a day early. Over 50 days we couldn't enjoy the luxury of sharing conversation over a meal! And we aren't big talkers, either. He almost always has the TV on while we're eating. But still, it is nice to have the chance to exchange info, news, tidbits of stories of what's happened that day/ week/ month...etc. Without a meal together, it is almost impossible to nab his attention long enough to have him actually hear what I say. So I was mighty grateful for that meal. I think we both felt happy to have some time together again.

We have to make sacrifices in order to pay some bills; we have to bear difficult circumstances in order to appreciate the simplest pleasures in life. But living alone...? I think I've had more than my share of that lately!! May October be a little better...please, God.


Anonymous said...

Hey, Sally - I am experiencing a bit of "alone" now as Les is in Nepal for a month working at the mission hospital there! It was exciting that we can now sometimes IM - much cheaper than the phone!! He is well, and we are, too - I've enjoyed keeping up with you by reading occasionally. Love, Debbie Dornon

Sal said...

Dear Not-So-Anonymous-Debbie,
Thank you for letting me know you are reading my blog! That's so encouraging. So this is the month Les is away. I'll be praying some more.

You'd be surprised how often I think of you two and your beautiful children. I wish you'd send me that mahboh doufu recipe (again?); I still dream of how delicious that meal was we shared on your deck.

Send me an email, and tell me about "IM"--what is it? I have Skype with my son, but I don't know what IM stands for. Thanks again for stopping by, Deb!

Love, Sal

Twice Blessed China Mom said...

Sally, I'm proud of you, too. I'm so happy that you're at a good place. I know your husband works so hard for your family and that you have sacrificed a lot, as well, for your family. I always remember what you told me many years ago; that love isn't a feeling, but a commitment to continue. You lived that and it is good to know that you're in this place now. I think of your description of love often. I'm so glad that I've walked with you in life, and am amazed that even though we go long periods without seeing each other in person, I feel that I just pick up with you when we do get together. Thanks for keeping in contact through the years, girlfriend! I love you!

Sal said...

What a lovely message! Thank you for keeping things I've shared with you tucked into your heart like that. That means a lot to me!

It is clear how God has worked in our lives as friends through the years; you, me and Laura. We all have our own paths, yet they intertwine in interesting and unusual ways/places. You and I have a relationship with Asia; we all are teachers, though our students are very different! And now we are all moms. The Pacific Ocean continues to place distance between us physically, but God has given us a loyalty to each other that's unaffected by physical distance, thank goodness!

I'm just glad the computer has helped us reconnect recently!